


Turkey Shoot 2.0

by hullomoon



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Competitive Patrick Brewer, Drinking, Hunting, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:34:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27582779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hullomoon/pseuds/hullomoon
Summary: When Ronnie and Roland bring up David's experience at the Annual Turkey Shoot, Patrick gets a tad competitive. Unfortunately, things don't exactly go as planned
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 30
Kudos: 66





	Turkey Shoot 2.0

**Author's Note:**

> I should be working on my FO prompts but after a conversation with friends and a gentle nudge to write this here it is. Please note no turkeys were harmed in the making of this fic.

David watched as Patrick neatly cut up his pancakes. Each piece was even-sized, dripping with syrup, and if they weren't at the café he'd have half a mind to ask Patrick to feed him a piece. 

He looked back to his own plate and watched his yolk burst and ooze as he cut into it. He took a bite, tasting the rich flavor as it coated his tongue. Over easy eggs were so much better now that Twyla used eggs from the poultry farmer five miles south of town. David gave himself a mental pat on the back for setting up that meeting. 

He glanced back to Patrick who had a small frown on his face. 

"What's the matter, did you get a bite of unmixed baking powder again? I told you to double-check."

A hand on his shoulder pulled his attention away from Patrick. 

"So, are you going to join the Turkey Shoot this year, Dave?"

David grimaced and turned to see Roland with Ronnie standing next to him. 

Patrick laughed. "David hunting? I think you have the wrong person Roland."

"Excuse me, just because I might not look it, doesn't mean I haven't hunted before."

Patrick raised an eyebrow. "But I thought you said those hunting parties were more about the lunch than hunting?"

"Elton's might have, but I did attend one hunt my first year here."

Patrick propped an elbow up and rested his chin on his fist. "And how did that go?"

"He shot a turkey," Ronnie replied. 

Patrick's eyes widened. "Honestly, I'm a little surprised you shot it."

"Well, it was in the neck," David added.

Patrick winced. 

Ronnie scoffed. "Do you think you could do any better Brewer?"

David looked to see the competitive edge in Patrick's eyes and started eating his toast. They'd probably be there a while and there was no point in wasting breakfast. 

"Well, it's been a bit since I last went hunting, but I think I'd do okay."

Roland walked over and clapped a hand on Patrick's shoulder. "We'd be happy for you to join us this year."

"I'd have to talk to David first, make sure the store will be okay."

David waved his hand. "It'll be fine. Have fun stomping through the forest in the early morning."

"Actually, you shouldn't stomp-" Roland began. 

"It's this Saturday at six," Ronnie interrupted, "see you then."

He watched as Roland and Ronnie left the café. David looked to Patrick. “Please tell me you won’t do anything dumb on this trip.”

“Don’t worry. If you were able to handle it, I should too.” Patrick turned to his plate and finished up his pancakes.

\---

A light brush to his forehead woke David. “Mmm, whaaa?” he mumbled.

“Go back to sleep,” Patrick whispered.

“Good luck,” David slurred, voice heavy with sleep. “Be safe.”

He nudged his head deeper into the pillow as he heard Patrick walk away.

\---

David watched as Ronnie and Patrick came around the corner. They both were still in their hunting getup, although Patrick was wearing his hat backwards. Patrick limply held on to Ronnie, who didn’t seem amused.

“So he had fun?” David asked.

Ronnie hmphed. “I’d say too much fun.”

Patrick lifted his head and patted Ronnie’s chest. “I can make it up the stairs, Ronnieeeee,” he slurred. He lurched himself off Ronnie’s grasp and stumbled his way up the porch stairs and settled heavily onto the patio couch. He leaned his head against David’s shoulder.

David let a hand rest on Patrick’s neck and lightly scratched at the base. He hoped Patrick wouldn’t throw up.

“I’m guessing there wasn’t much shooting involved this time?”

Ronnie sat down in the patio chair closest to David. “Well, he started out all competitive,” she rolled her eyes. “Then we found a turkey and we’re right there, and you know what he did? He chickened out, said he couldn’t do it.” She let out a laugh. “Ended up in the back and got wasted with Ray. They got about halfway through  _ Tapestry _ before Patrick got weepy when they started singing ‘You’ve Got a Friend.’”

David felt Patrick’s head dig into his shoulder and hear his small, breathy, snores. “Thanks for bringing him back in one piece. I should probably get him into bed.”

Ronne stood up, raised her arms, and stretched. “You’re welcome. When he wakes up tell him if he joins next year either he needs to be prepared to shoot if he’s gonna be upfront or I'll kick him to the back.”

He grimaced. “Got it, thanks.”

She nodded her head, gave a small wave, and headed back to the driveway.

David carefully lifted Patrick’s head up and slipped out from under him. He moved to grip Patrick under his armpits and lifted him up. Patrick’s head lolled to the right. 

“Come on, Patrick I need you at least partially awake. I don’t enjoy dragging your body throughout the house.”

“Hmmmgh,” Patrick replied.

David took a few tentative steps toward the sliding door, grateful that he wouldn’t have to fight a regular door while holding up Patrick. He slid the door open and got them through. He sat Patrick down on the couch and began untying his shoes.

“You know when I went on the shoot I didn’t even get to get drunk.”

Patrick lifted his head up and slowly blinked a couple of times.”You should have done it. Ray and I had fun.”

David frowned as he took off a muddy boot. “Ray wasn’t with us on that trip.”

Patrick let his head fall back onto the couch. “Your loss.”

He took off the other boot, hat, and started unzipping the jumpsuit. Patrick had fallen asleep again so David turned him to his side, threw a blanket over him, and sat out aspirin and water on the coffee table.

\---

David watched from his spot in the armchair as Patrick stirred awake. “Good evening.”

“Hi,” Patrick gruffly replied. He shuffled around until he found the aspirin and popped it in his mouth, chasing it down with water.

“There’s some soup for you there.” David motioned his head to bowl on the coffee table. He watched as Patrick picked up the bowl and started to eat.

“Ronnie told me what happened today.”

Patrick groaned and sat his spoon down. “I couldn’t do it, David. I thought it would be fine and then I saw the turkey’s face and couldn’t do it.”

David hummed. “Well, I guess we found something I was able to do that you couldn’t.”

“It was in the neck, so were you really trying?”

“Tried better than you,” David shot back. “Don’t worry, you saved the turkey to live another day.” 

“Yes, it can live out its days thanks to my efforts.”

David got up from the chair and gave Patrick a kiss. “We can both agree that hunting is for neither of us and will not be accepting any more requests to join in.”

Patrick wrapped his arms around David’s legs and burrowed his face in David’s stomach. “Agreed.”

**Author's Note:**

> if you want to chat i'm [hullomoon](https://hullomoon.tumblr.com/) on tumblr!


End file.
